A Ford for All Times

They really believe I did it. The person who created a whole website and has worked so hard to stay alive, after losing her brother to suicide, would intentionally take and destroy a photo of him.

I wrote them a note this morning, after being blamed for the falsity, that they are horrible people.

And they are.

Why is my brother dead? Because of them. Why have I lived outside as a homeless person so many times? Because of them. Why has my daughter had such an unstable life? Mostly, because of my instability, caused by them.

They will never own what they have done to everyone around them, because they have been abused so many times themselves that they have victim mentality. The projection is ironic.

New Doc 93_1

This morning, after being blamed for my little brother’s photo disappearance, and being told I always have to be the victim, I pointed out how I was the one who was kicked to the curb multiple times and basically treated as garbage. Once, I was actually given a trashcan with my name on it to represent my room because that was me, garbage.

When I brought that up in response to my mother’s accusation of my “victim” mentality, she explained my stepfather’s abuse away as a joke. Yeah, just like the rest of my life, a Ford damn joke. Is a gramme really better than a damn? Not really. I’d rather be damned to misery than live in a falsehood of reality.

So, that’s it. We’re done. Sometimes, we cannot make things right with the people in our lives. “Oh, brave new world.” What shall become of us?

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